Treatise on Messrs Moony and Padfoot's Friendship
by bones-angel
Summary: Messrs. Moony and Padfoot proudly present to you a wondrous selection of the most illustrious, monumental memories of their time in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
1. Firsts

**Firsts.**

It was the first time he had seen someone so meek yet worthy of his intrigue. Scratches all over. Well-worn cloak. An old, battered book, surprisingly intact, in hand. Chocolate frogs in the other. And yellow eyes that looked up into his gray eyes without flinching and without intimidation. It wasn't a haughty glance that he was accustomed to either, but more of a courteous, questioning glance.

Without further ado, he introduced himself, a casual lop-sided grin spreading across his distinguished features as he held out a hand.

"Sirius Black's the name. And you are?" he arched an eyebrow.

"Remus Lupin. Pleased to meet you," he replied pleasantly, shaking his hand firmly. He turned to the other boy standing next to Black, slightly shorter than Black, but with jet-black hair that stuck up in every way, and he was bespectacled. Brother?

"James Potter, mate," James introduced himself, extending his hand as he gave a warm smile.

"Nice to meet you too," he replied, also giving him a good handshake. Now, though, he was at a loss at what to say. The other two stood there watching him, slightly uncomfortable by the silence, but not uncomfortable enough to leave the cabin.

"Mind if we join you?" Sirius asked, a casual grin etched on his face, though he had made his way to sit across from the new boy.

"No, feel free to." He smiled briefly, and being rather shy, did not pursue the conversation further as he glanced back at his book.

Sirius and James looked at him briefly, then at each other quizzically, before breaking into a knowing grin. They both agreed that Remus Lupin was indeed someone they like. James gestured for him to start the conversation, wiggling his eyebrows in a signal that it was his job this time.

"So, Remus, isn't it?" he began, his curious eyes peering at the said person, as said person looked up from his reading.

"Yes?"

"Which house do you reckon you'd get into?"

"I'm not sure. What about you?" At least he put that book down, though he continued to nibble at his Chocolate Frog.

"We're positively sure about Gryffindor!" James beamed, slightly puffing his chest for emphasis.

He laughed, and reached for a small brown bag, fumbling with the contents before taking out some Chocolate Frogs and offering them to the duo. "Want some?"

"Thanks, mate. My favorite's Bertie Botts' Beans," James added as he ate the piece greedily.

Sirius, on the other hand, declined. "Thanks, but I already have some of my own," he gave a polite smile, patting his pockets.

James turned to him with an accusing stare. "And you didn't share?"

"Not with you ready to gobble anything in your path, no." He smirked, gesturing towards the leftover chocolate around his mouth.

"Ugh. Says the boy who ate ALL my sandwiches."

"You offered!"

"But you ate ALL!"

"You didn't say how many."

"You could've asked!"

"That's a daft assumption!"

"Well, daft for you!"

"You're daft!"

"You're dafter than daft!"

"Alright!" Remus raised his voice slightly higher than the two, though his small smile betrayed his amusement at the two.

"But – " James began, but he held up a warning hand, and shot a warning glance at Sirius who now had sobered that smug expression of his.

"You might want to change into your robes now, we're almost reaching, I think."

"Alright. Mind if we change here?" he sighed, before nudging Sirius in the ribs sharply. He was shot with a vicious glare, though ignored it pointedly.

He looked slightly alarmed, and could feel warmth spreading to his cheeks slowly. "No, go ahead."

He wasn't too sure about changing in front of them, or else they would start asking about his scars and why they wouldn't fade. Still, he figured if he took off a few layers but kept some on, they wouldn't be able to see his scars. Yes, that would be best. He was the fastest to change too, what with the boys using their owl feathers to tickle each other when one of them undressed, resulting in fits of laughter filling their cabin as they struggled to defend themselves whilst changing.

He smiled fondly, unknowingly growing fond of the two of them already.

It was a good start, he thought. He'd made _friends_.

* * *

**A/N: **Explanations! =P i thought long and hard for this one, and decided to just go on with it. it's short, i know. =P

anyway, i'm doing a series on exploring their friendship. and how it broke down after hogwarts. =) prepare for angst. anyway, ideas for other chapters are welcomed!


	2. Dynamics

**Dynamics**

He awoke with a start. He was at it _again_. For the third night in a row, he was doing it again. Sirius felt his eyebrow twitch in annoyance, wishing fervently that he had remembered to look up on that helpful spell that would block out those horrible, horrible sounds.

He turned to face the window, pillow clamped over his ears. It was no use. It was simply too loud. Sod it all. He'll kill him in the morning. He needed this rest. He grabbed his pillow and blanket, gave a reproachful look at the four-poster bed by the door across from his, and trudged downstairs to the common room to continue his sleep.

It had been most difficult for him to look at his friends in the eye. All of them, to be honest. He didn't know what to think of the problem, really. It started when he came up late from one of his nocturnal excursions with a pretty Ravenclaw fifth-year (really, it was an innocent night-time walk, albeit after curfew), and all his friends were asleep.

_Curtains were drawn. He had settled into bed comfortably, after washing up and undressing, when it started._

_He couldn't believe his ears at first, and he just laid there, eyes staring straight ahead at the ceiling, fingers clutching the bedsheet in sheer terror. There was no mistaking that voice. He'd spent five whole years listening to that voice in all its forms – in hoarse whispers after a terrible full moon night, in rich pleasant laughter when a prank was amusing, and in tired reprimands before committing chaotic amount of pranks. _

_No, it was really Moony. No one else had that voice so characteristically his. And yet, …yet it was the same Moony that made all these contented moans, and deep, pleased sighs. Same voice that seemed so unsuitable in voicing out his pleasure – the kind of wanton pleasure he could never imagine Moony to partake in. _

"_Oh yes," he hissed._

_His eyes widened. _

"_Oh. Such a good book, aren't you?"_

_He cringed. This was absurd._

"_Like it, don't you?"_

_He shut his eyes tight. Bit his lower lip hard._

"_Want more, don't you?"_

_He nearly sobbed._

_He cried out, apparently climaxing. "Ah, I think I'll put you back in Sirius' trunk tomorrow."_

_And his heart sank. He stayed awake until dawn came, and leapt for the bathroom, leaving his friends still in slumber as he rushed to breakfast. _

He lay there, feeling mutinous that he had to spend his night on the sofa. Just because Moony wanted some pleasant personal time – no matter how weird it was. A book, really? Just how much of a bibliophile was Remus Lupin?

"_Sirius."_

_His heart gave an unpleasant lurch, and slowly, he turned around. "What is it, Remus?" He asked slowly._

"_You forgot this," he replied pleasantly, handing him his Transfiguration textbook, unaware of the absolute horror reigning the other boy's features._

"_It's alright, I don't need it."_

"_Come now," and Sirius gulped, fighting off the stupid double entendre forming in his mind, "Wouldn't want you in trouble with McGonagall again, yeah?"_

"_Yeah." He took the book, though reluctantly, and set it carefully on the desk. He wasn't about to use _that_ book. What if…? He let go of it, as though it was burning his fingers._

_He wouldn't, would he? Somehow, Sirius felt he wouldn't put it past him to do so. _

"_Are you alright?" _

"_Yeah, yeah." With that, he hurried off, leaving a baffled Remus Lupin._

He turned, facing the fire now, eyes staring into the flames as he mulled over the matter. Two nights ago, he found out that Remus had a thing for James' books too.

He felt like a downright cowardly Slytherin when he couldn't open his mouth to protest when Remus handed James his forgotten Arithmancy textbook. His heart had twisted in misery when he saw how James clapped the back of said friend, proceeded to leaf through the pages carefully for a particular homework parchment he had slipped in earlier, and gave Remus a great big hug for being a marvellous friend. His throat became parched when he noticed the amused smile and the mischievous gleam in Remus' eye, and how his fingers curled and uncurled around his wand whenever he was hiding some particularly _delicious secret_.

He skived off a Charms lesson today (it was the only class he had with just Remus), and went off to the Quidditch pitch (James was there, and he couldn't bring himself to see him either) before running back to the castle and down the passageway to the Shack. He was alone at last, and began thinking the matter thoroughly.

_He paced the empty room, eyes staring hard at the floor as though daring it to swallow him whole. Almost wishing it would really open up and engulf him completely, actually. _

_So Remus had a very, very odd thing for books. Not just any books too. They had to be books from his own best friends – Sirius and James. Couldn't be Peter's. Peter wasn't attractive of the lot, and everyone knew that James and Sirius attracted the girls, sometimes boys. Remus had his own admirers as well too. No, Peter was out of the question._

_Now that he had established the facts… what did it all mean? Surely there was a reason for it all. Remus, even in his madness, had rationale behind it. To him, this could only mean one thing… _

_Remus fancied him. And James. _

_He stopped pacing, glancing up at the wall, eyes widened as he came to the conclusion. _

_He didn't know what to _feel.

_Should he be flattered? Disgusted? Terrified? Indifferent? Just _WHAT _should he feel?_

_He knew he was disgusted, first and foremost by Remus' peculiar attraction to their books. Flattered, of course, that he was _that_ attractive to even sway his own best friend. Terrified, because he didn't know what he was supposed to do with the sort of information – tell James? And indifferent, because he knew Remus falling for him wouldn't affect their dynamics as a group of friends. _

He decided that tonight was the last night. He'd confront his friend in the morning, even if it took every ounce of that Gryffindor courage he was supposed to have.

**OOO**

"Er, James, mind sodding off a moment?"

"Oi, I have every right to be here!"

"Yeah, but I need to speak to Moony alone."

"Oh? No, I think I'd stay."

"Get the hell out of here, Prongs, really."

"I think not."

"Alright, alright. What is it Padfoot?"

"Make him go away first."

"No secrets between us, remember?"

"Moony, this isn't about me. It's about _you!"_

"What you've got against Remus, Black?"

"Oh, shut it you ponce. Moony, _please_."

"Come on, Padfoot, you can tell us."

"Hurry up, Black."

"You leave me no choice."

"Oh, get on with it."

"James, patience."

"I know about … you."

"Oh? What about me, in particular?"

"Your er, night activities."

"You mean sleep?"

"_No… _your… _activities_."

"I'm afraid I don't understand, Sirius."

"He's talking about your wanking, Moony. Though I don't understand why he's being such a nun about it."

"Shut it, Potter. You don't know half of it."

"And what, may I ask, is the other half of it?"

He couldn't say it, not with Remus and James peering at him curiously like that. He felt the blood rush to his cheeks, and he averted his eyes, not wanting to see the expression on their faces as he told them the truth.

"I know what you've been doing with our books."

"Oh." A slight pause, perhaps a little surprise there, but not guilt. Or horror, even. He turned to see a gentle smile on Remus' face, almost apologetic.

"Oh?" He narrowed his eyes, arms already reaching out to grip his friend by the shoulder. "OH? That's all you've got to say?"

"Sirius," James began.

"It's alright. I'll explain."

"No, Remus, I'll do it."

"James –"

"No, Potter. Let him do it," he hissed, still staring hard at Remus, whose smile now grew wider.

"Sirius," Remus murmured, leaning closer, eyelid slowly drooping, "Sirius, there's been something I need to tell you."

He gulped, now very much sure that this was a confession. He closed his eyes, feeling the wild thumping of his heart, and the throbbing of his blood that surged upwards to his cheeks. "What is it?" he croaked, suddenly aware of how Remus smelled (and he smelled splendidly like citrus and apple and grass and rain), and how soft those thin, willowy fingers were around the crook of his neck.

"Gotcha."

His eyes snapped open, and he wrenched back, staring at both James and Remus – both now laughing and clutching their sides before collapsing on the floor in howls of laughter.

"What's going on?"

James tried to explain, "Oh, should've seen your face, you oaf," he chortled, and left it at that.

"It," Remus gasped, tears now forming in his eyes from laughing too hard, "was," _pant_, "a prank."

"A prank?"

"Yeah."

"Prank."

"I don't understand."

"Recorded-"

"My voice."

"Pete-"

"Hid-"

"The books."

"Brilliant."

"My idea."

"Sorry, Padfoot."

"And that's for making a fool out of me in front of Evans."

Both had recovered themselves by now, and Sirius was still bewildered.

"Let me get this straight," he narrowed his eyes at both them, now realizing the full extent of the situation, "You came up with the idea," he pointed to James, who nodded fervently, "to use Moony's voice," he turned to Remus, who still had the gall to smile like _that_, "and pretend he was wanking on our books, and you got Peter to hide those books somewhere?"

"Yeah, that's really what it is."

"I don't understand something here."

"What is it?"

"How can you _not_ be disturbed by his moaning about books and such?"

"Silencing Charm, Sirius."

"Oh."

"Still, you have to admit it was rather brilliant, don't you think?"

"Sod you, Potter."

"But yeah, Moony fancies you."

"WHAT?"


End file.
